~JADED~

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. Its annoying beeping made me want to throw it out the window. It was 8:00 P.M. I had slept for about three hours from the time I finished my homework. I always set the alarm to this time, the time Dad would come home, but he didn’t always come at the correct time every day. Ever since Mom left, Dad’s been working multiple jobs at odd times to support my little sister Vicky and me.

I got up from my bed and walked downstairs to the den. Dad was there watching his favorite show, Shark Tank. I approached him and greeted him.

“How was work?” I asked.

“Very shitty. My boss was being such an ass today. In fact, he’s been an ass every damn day! I swear I wanted to shoot him right there. The only reason I even put up with his stupid shit is because of this family.” He gazed at me and I returned the look. We burst into laughter almost to the point of tears. I was already half way about to wetting myself. This was one of the few times I shared laughter with him.

“I’m glad you’re doing well Dad,” I said still chuckling.

“Well I’m glad I’m able to provide for my two girls,” he answered.

“I’m glad I got to hear Dad curse.”

We turned around and saw Vicky standing in awe.

“Vicky dear, you didn’t hear Daddy say any of that okay?” My dad tried to put on a serious face.

“But I definitely just heard you say ‘shitty’ and ‘ass’ and ‘damn’,” Vicky insisted.

“What? I think you’re hearing things honey,” Dad continued.

“Yeah your right. I’m hearing you say ‘shitty’ and ‘ass’ and ‘damn.’” Vicky stared at him for a while. Meanwhile, I was trying my best to contain my laughter.

“Okay, you got me,” Dad admitted. “Just don’t use those words outside, alright? An innocent twelve year old like you shouldn’t use that kind of language, okay?”

“That’ll cost you,” she taunted. “How does ten bucks sound?”

“Sounds like you’re going to get grounded soon,” Dad teased.

“Going to my room in three, two, and gone.” We all laughed and Vicky hurried up to her room.

I chatted with Dad for a little longer and then got his dinner ready. Since Mom wasn’t around anymore, I had to do most of the chores around the house. I didn’t mind, because I would do anything for my dad.

After Dad was done eating, I washed the dishes and prepared my clothes for the next day of school. I was always excited to go to school and socialize and create memories. That’s what highschool was about, right? I slept around ten and rested incredibly well. I got up at six in the morning and got ready for school, still eager to meet my friends and talk. School was just a few train stops from my house, so I walked to the station and waited for the el while listening to music.

When I got to school, I greeted my friends and readied myself for the boring classes ahead. The day went fast, but my last period, US History, got me excited. The teacher assigned the class a project that was to be done by next Monday. He arranged our groups and told us that we might need to meet over the weekend with our groups in order to finish the assignment. My group included Jason Smith and two other girl. Jason was pretty much the most popular guy in school, and the two girls were called his ‘shadows’ because they followed Jason wherever he went. Our group decided to meet at Jason’s house that Saturday to work on the project there. I was thrilled to go to his house. I hadn’t known him that well nor did I speak to him much, but I was ready to make a new friend.

Saturday came and I got ready to leave for Jason’s. I walked to his house, which wasn’t far from mine, and met the two other girls in my group along the way. We greeted each other and continued to Jason’s. When we arrived, they rang the doorbell and Jason opened the door eagerly. He welcomed us and we went into his room. It seemed like no one else was home. We watched a few episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” and snacked a bit before we started working.

When we began the project, I saw that everyone did their best to put the entire project together. My group worked well and we finished most of the project that afternoon. We decided to meet again the next day to complete it. The girls and I then began to leave. They left quickly because they said they had a movie to catch. After they had left, I realized that one of them left her bag on Jason’s desk. I wanted to go after her, but Jason stopped me. He insisted that he would give it to her later, and that I stay longer. I took a seat on his neatly made bed while he sat on his desk chair. As we sat there, he stared at me like I was some kind of prize. He offered me a drink and I accepted. He went downstairs and came back with cold lemonade. He handed it to me and I took a few sips. He asked me questions as if interrogating me, but I didn’t mind. We made good conversation this way, and surprisingly, we had a lot in common. Throughout the conversation, he stared at me weirdly, and even after talking, he continued to stare at me as if he wanted something from me. I asked him what he wanted, but he replied unexpectedly by telling me how cute I looked, the way I was sitting on his bed. He stood up from the chair and took a seat on the bed next to me, his eyes never diverting from mine. He moved closer to me until there was no space between us. Then he leaned towards my face and kissed me. It was sudden and I got a bit scared. I pushed him away, but I felt weak and dizzy. Then I realized that he must’ve put something in my drink. I noticed too late because I was already seeing stars. I passed out.

When I regained consciousness, I saw Jason still sitting on the bed with his shirt off and head down. It seemed as if he was crying. I looked away from him and examined myself. I was under his covers and felt a little cold. I removed the covers, but quickly put them back on when I realized I was more than half-naked. I didn’t know what had happened, but I was scared, confused, and still dizzy.

I grabbed my clothes from the floor and put them on in a rush. My head was still spinning; not from what Jason put in my drink, but from the thought of what happened after I was out. I looked at him after putting on my clothes and slapped him.

“What the hell did you do to me?!” I put my hands on his shoulders and shook him. I shouted again. “I asked you what the hell you did to me! Tell me!”

“I didn’t do anything,” he whispered. “I really didn’t do anything.”

“Then explain why I was naked, why you put something in my drink!”

“Well, that’s not easy to answer,” he replied calmly.

“That’s not the answer I was looking for.” I slapped him again, but he didn’t budge. His head was still down.

“If you want the truth, then here it is. You won’t like it though.” He began. “A few months ago, there was this girl in one of my classes that came on to me. She told me how much she wanted me and stuff like that. She looked really desperate and it turned into a situation that I made stupid decisions. I went to her house and we entered her bedroom. One thing lead to the next and we ended up sleeping together.”

He paused. He started to weep a bit. Maybe I hadn’t imagine it when I thought he was crying before.

“About a week later, she told me that she had Hepatitis C and that I might have it now. I was speechless, hurt, and angry. I asked her why she would sleep with me without telling me, but she said I wouldn’t understand because I wasn’t in her shoes. Now I’m in her shoes and I know what she meant. I wouldn’t want to die alone with some disease with no one by my side.”

After hearing this, I was shocked, speechless. I couldn’t talk or even begin to think of words to say.

“Y-You’re kidding right?” I pleaded. “Please t-tell me you’re kidding.” I began sobbing. I couldn’t imagine the thought of having an STD, let alone dying. I didn’t want this, any of this. “You still haven’t answered my question,” I demanded in tears. “What did you do to me?”

“I already told you, nothing.”

“And how the hell am I supposed to believe that? Do you have proof?”

“I can’t prove it. You just have to take my word for it.” He said it so carefree. It really pissed by off, but I didn’t know what else to say or do. I would just have to take his word for it, no matter how angry I was. There was simply nothing I could do. But the possibility of him lying was still there. I didn’t know how to deal with this or who to talk to. To me, who to talk to wasn’t even the big problem, but how to explain the situation. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone.

I scanned Jason’s room for my bag and reached for it. I hurried out of his house and ran home. Thoughts of what I should do crossed my mind, but there was no simple answer to what had just happened. I got to my front door and grabbed my keys. I opened the door and ran up to my room in tears. Dad wasn’t home and Vicky was out with some of her friends for a movie. I was truly alone with my problem. I jumped on my bed and went to sleep, still in tears. There was nothing else I could do.

The next day, I called Jason’s house and left a message with his mom. I told her that I wouldn’t be able to work on the project that day, so Jason and the other girls would have to finish it. She told me not to worry about it, and wished me a good day. How could I not worry? Especially after what her son may have done to me. I spent the entire Sunday thinking about solutions to the problem, but nothing came to mind. Of course I couldn’t think of anything; this problem was just impossible to deal with. The only thing I could do was take Jason’s word for it and hope that he hadn’t done anything.

On Monday, I prepared for school and tried to forget what had happed between Jason and me. I didn’t want my friends or anyone to know. Any time I would see Jason, I would avoid him by going a different route or looking away as if I didn’t see him. This went on for a about week or so, but one day I didn’t see him in school at all.  

That day, there was an announcement over the P.A. that one of the students had died. Everyone was shocked of course, but I was devastated when I heard the name of the diseased, Jason Smith. They said he had died of an STD and that his funeral would be held a few weeks later. I wanted to cry, not for Jason, but for myself. What Jason said was true. Everything about sleeping with that girl was true. I didn’t want it to be true, not at all. If it was true, then I could be next to die. He said he hadn’t done anything to me that day, but after hearing this news, I couldn’t think straight anyone nor could I believe that nothing happened between us.